It's okay to grieve your health

When we talk about grief, people tend to assume it’s about death, but grief is actually the normal and natural emotional response to a loss of any kind.[1]  One of the losses we often don’t think about is the loss of health. This can be the loss of your own health or the loss of the health of a loved one.

The loss of health doesn’t always happen in a sudden dramatic fashion. You may look to the outside world like you’re healthy and well, despite the reality being different. For many of us, it happens more gradually, with different stages in the journey (for example diagnosis, treatment, worsening of symptoms, or the development of new symptoms) representing a new added loss. With each new stage, there’s the potential for a new wave of grief. What makes this journey harder is that it often doesn’t have a clearly defined end – it can feel like a constant reminder of what you’ve lost.

When you or a loved one is unwell, you may find yourself grieving the independence you or they used to have, the things that are no longer possible and the version of the future you had imagined. This can be a really lonely process, because this type of loss isn’t widely recognised, and isn’t often acknowledged by other people.

It’s important to note here that these sorts of feelings are completely normal, and it’s okay to feel overwhelmed, angry, anxious or however you’re currently feeling. The problem is that we’ve all been socialised to believe that these feelings are abnormal and unnatural, and that is not helpful.

People usually mean well, but they might not know how to respond or what to say. Instead of offering helpful, empathetic support, they may instead unknowingly rely on myths or cliches that don’t help at all. Things like ‘at least it’s not worse’, ‘be strong’, ‘don’t dwell on it’, all tend to lead to you having to shut down your real feelings and feeling silenced or dismissed.

If you’re struggling to know what to say to someone who is experiencing health loss, try to remember that honest compassionate listening without judgement or giving advice is often the most helpful way forward. You can try to say things like:

·       “I cannot imagine how hard this must be for you”

·       “I’m here to listen, if you want to share”

·       “Your feelings are valid”

More often than not, simply sitting in silence, offering comfort through being rather than trying to fix everything is a wonderful way to support someone who is grieving. Small shifts like these can help to create space for genuine connection and healing.

How can Grief Recovery help?

Unresolved grief can build up over time, leaving you feeling lonely, angry or overwhelmed. The Grief Recovery Method offers a safe and proven pathway for navigating and working through these emotions. It doesn’t try to minimize your loss or provide quick fixes. Instead, it gives you the tools you need to cope with the pain of what has been lost, so you can live a full life again.

Recognizing health loss as real grief is the first step. Once you name it for what it is, you can begin to take actions that lead to healing. With the Grief Recovery Method, you’re guided through a process that allows you to express what the loss has meant for you, release the pain you have been carrying, and discover a new sense of peace even if your circumstances have not changed.

You may not have chosen this path, but you do not have to walk it alone. Recovery is possible. You deserve to be heard, supported, and equipped with tools that help you live more fully today.

Book your free consultation to find out how the Grief Recovery Method can help you.

[1] J.W. James and R. Friedman, The Grief Recovery Handbook (New York: Harper Collins, 2009) P.3.